Are We To Be A Nation Of Rich Pussies?

I don't like the word choice, but I couldn't find another way to express the feeling.

US firm sells sleep by the minute

"PowerNap Sleep Centers will open its MinneNAPolis store next month offering six themed rooms which can be rented out by the 'dead on their feet'.

At a cost of about 70 cents (39 pence) per minute, the sleepy shopper or tired business person can catch up on kip.

The new shop will be in the massive Mall of America in Minneapolis."(BBC News.Com)

'Awww...the little guy's all tuckered out.'

"Julie Hanson, a spokeswoman for the Mall of America, said the new sleep shop will let people 'escape it all'.

'We think it would be really good for husbands at Christmas, when their wives are power shopping,' she explained."('')

So, when you've simply exhausted yourself shopping for things in a giant amusement park, you can take a little nappy nap for 70 cents a minute. You rich pussy.

"MinneNAPolis will offer rooms called Asian Mist, Tropical Isle, Deep Space, Key West, 12 Fathoms and Oasis."('')


'For little more than a dollar a day, you can sponser this child, or one of millions like him/her...'

Looting - A Pragmatist's Guide

From the Time-Picayune Breaking News Weblog, we learn about desperate looting, dangerous looting, and when a lawman's got to loot what a lawman's got to loot:

"Looting in New Orleans was so widespread Wednesday that police were forced to prioritize their overwhelmed enforcement effort.

Winn-Dixie's Riverside Market Place on Tchoupitoulas Street was breached in the morning by foragers who broke through a metal security door. Eight police officers in marked cruisers made it to the parking lot by noon, but they had a more pressing problem than people walking off with food and liquor.

The officers were rushing to a break-in next door at the Sports Authority, desperate to secure the store's stockpile of guns and ammunition.

"I think we ran them off before they got any of it," said the commanding officer at the scene. The cops secured the store with heavy plywood before moving on to other emergencies.

At about 2 p.m., the officers rushed back to disrupt a second break-in at the sporting goods store. An officer in a squad car tried to chase a Bell South utility truck that fled the scene, but he lost the truck amid fallen trees.

Upon surveying the thefts, the officer said the most conspicuous missing items were all the weapons from the store's knife case.

Before boarding up again, the officers took some essential supplies for themselves: socks, T-shirts and Power Bars. As officers were pounding the last nails the commander yelled: "Let's roll it, someone's driving around in a mail truck."(Michael Perlstein, Staff Writer, 'Times-Picayune')

Pretty. Fucking. Crazy.

****

Appendix (08/31/05 - 9:26 PM)

For more information on Police, Looting, and New Orleans, check out the LTNA's "...To Protect And Self-Serve." post.

If You Want A Play By Play on the Post-Apocalyptics...

...going on in New Orleans, check out the The Times-Picayune reporters' Web Logs.

The Times-Picayune

It's fascinating. If you like that sort of thing. (Which I do.)

Tip of the hat to Andrew F. for the recommendation.

Disaster Struck! And Cragslist Was There.

Though New Orleans may currently be out of commision, it's Craigslist presence is still in a strange sort of operation.

As you'd expect, The Craigslist New Orleans Jobslist has been pretty quiet in the face of Katrina. Some stuff from obviously automated sources, calls for refugee CPAs, Hotel Clerks, etc., and someone looking for experienced Sattelite installers in New Orleans. They'll pay for your hotel, though you'll need to wait 2 weeks for your paycheck.

There's more activity on the The Missed Connections section; it's filled almost entirely by out-of-state people looking for loved ones: "Looking for Joe Tomkiewicz - w4m - 42" (San Francisco), "Looking for Charlie Aubert in NOLA - 54 (Hubbard,TX)", "did you evacuate? Debbie Phelps, Nemo & Marcella Purat, Bob Blake ? (hawaii)", and a brief debate on looting:

Pro "Shoot To Kill":
"One answer...D-con does not make poison strong enough for this breeding rodent. Lock and load, shoot to kill on sight. That is all these lawless muther fuckers understand. And, yes...whites and asians and mexicans are looting too. Shoot them all, please!! Thank George Bush, Bill Clinton and our government for the anarchy that will get worse. Civil war is coming soon!! Laugh at me if you like..No Jobs, No health insurance, no food, no hope....equals: the end of this country as you know it. It is on the way..SOON!"(Shooter for the looter (Back of your mind))

Con "Shoot To Kill":
"People aren't looting because they're 'lawless mutherfuckers' - they're looting because they're DESPERATE. They have no clothes, no water, no gas, no money, no nothing. Anything they grab is something they might be able to use as currency so that they can get food and water for their children.

What the hell is the matter with you, calling desperate people 'rodents' and suggesting they be KILLED? Is anyone's STUFF that important at this point? ...Have a little fucking compassion. The only 'rodents' out there are monsters like you who would shoot desperate refugees who got left behind to fend for themselves. Jeez."(Re: Shooter for the looter)

The craziest stuff, as usual, is in the Casual Encounters section (On a regular day, home to NSA sex, gloryholes, and dates with Tina.).

Some stuff was clearly the standard Spam (As one Craigslister put it: "Look at all this Bullshit posted by the SpamBots in the Middle of a Cat 5 Hurricane...Do you honestly believe that right this very minute there is some guy sitting in his French Quarter Apartment thinking 'Dammm.... I sure wish I could do some hot 69 with some woman on top of me, while her husband fucks her doggie style... The hell with all this rain pouring in through the broken window... I'm going to post on Craiglist... Maybe there is a hot sexy couple with a boat that could come motor up to my second floor balcony and tie their boat up to the railing'"(Holy Shit... Look at all the SPAM Posted for New Orleans in the - m4mw), but the rest broke down into two groups:

Gay Men
Nearly all the posts with the tag m4m are along these tender, humanitarian lines...

"Greetings and best of luck from the other LA (Los Angeles). I (heart) New Orleans. Donation made today to the American Red Cross." (Best wishes to a great city, and a wonderful people - m4m)

"If you need me to call anyone for you and leave a message, just send it to me here, and I will get the message to them. Sprint PCS (free long distance), Sorry I can't do more, if I had an extra bedroom, I'd offer that up to...good luck boys, and chin up." (I can help with phone calls too - m4m - 29)

"I'm Sitting here in Queens and hearing on CNN that the waters are rising in downton New Orleans because of the two block breech in the lake ponchetrain levee. My heart is with you New Orleans, stay strong I will visit soon."
(NYC stands with NOLA - m4m - 31 (Long Island City Queens) )

Straight Men
...while straight men (and sometimes their significant others) come across a bit more mercenary:

I will give you free shelter in New York and pay for you to get here - m4w - 25

"I will help you get back on your feet. You can come stay with me if you are a young attractive female that has just lost everything in the hurricane. Get out of there the worst is yet to come Disease famin etc. I live on Long Island and I am willing to open my home to you. Please send pic."

Temp Housing for Bi-Sub Female - mw4w - 40
"Professional white couple (40's) willing to help you get your life back together. You are welcome to stay as long as you need to. We have a nice home with pool. We will help you gain employment during your stay.

What we ask in exchange:

You must be white sub bi-female in relitively good shape & D/D free.
You pay utilities and 1/3 of food only.
Help around the house.
You will need to get transportation to here.

No pic, no responce.

this is in or around NH"

And my personal favorite, the 420-Friendly, Capslocked Pimp:

FUCHTHASTORM>R-U A SEXY WOMAN LOOKIN' FOR A REAL MAN & STAY IN CALI - 28

"I KNOW THE STORM IS FUCKED UP, AND THEY GOT A LOT OF GOOD WOMEN DOWN SOUTH... I HAVE ROOM AND I'M SINGLE BY CHOICE.........SO IF U WANNA COME OUT HERE TIL THE STORM IS OVER OR>>>>>THINK I MIGHT BE WHAT U WANT....WE CAN BE FRIENDS ,FALL IN LOVE , AND GET MARRIED..."IF" WE SO LUCKY... BUT IN "REALITY" MAYBE U JUST WANNA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A REAL 9 OR JUST MEET A SUPA KOOL DUDE TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH AND CHAT ON YAHOO , WHILE I SMOKE THE MEAN GREEN.....................EITHER WAY, I WOULD BE HONERED!!!
I'M 28 A CHOCOLATE/AMERICAN DUDE WITH VERY CLEAN LONG DREDS OUT HERE IN CALI ,DOING WAT I DO....AND DOING IT WELL I OWN A NEXTEL/SPRINT STORE, DO CASTING FOR ADULT COMPANIES,A ESCORT SERVICE,AND YES I HAVE PROOF SO U WILL/OR CAN HAVE A JOB,EITHER WAY. I'M HOPIN' TO FIND A WOMAN THE CAN APPRECIATE OR JUST ENJOY A REAL MAN !!!!!NO B.S AND NO GAMES , IF U JUST LOOKIN' FOR FUN ...WE CAN DISCUSS THAT AS WELL!!!! IM NO HATER, AND NO SQUARE TRICK/SUCKER , JUST A ADVENTURER LOOKIN' FOR EITHER MS RIGHT, BUT I'LL TAKE MS RIGHT NOW, AND CL IS JUST THAT.....A ADVENTURE!!! ............P.S...PLZ HAVE ALL YA TEETH .........BE VERY CLEAN....DISEASE FREE
SO WATS UP .................I HAVE NO COLOR LINES , AND I LIKE ALL TYYPES OF SEXY WOMEN , WETHER THEY ARE BIG BODY HOTTIES OR SWEET AND PETITE!!!! 420-DRANK, AND AL OTHER GOOD STUFF!!!
5'8-184
ATHLETIC BUILD
TATOOS
STR8 WHITES
->-9i!!!
If your up to it or really need a change of scenery
send pics(FACE AND BODY)/phone numbers OR YAHOO IM'S-------->I'M IN HOLLYWOOD CA. RIGHT OFF THE 101 FRWY, 90028, CHK YOUR YAHOO MAPS AND SEE WHAT CAN WHATS REALLY GOOD!!!"


"Maybe you just wanna take advantage of a real 9, or just a Supa Kool Dude to keep in touch with and chat on Yahoo, while I smoke the Mean Green."


Straight Men (And their Co-Dominant Spouses), the Fatties and Non-Submissives of New Orleans need your help too!

"Serious replies only, and no smokers, dopers, or fatties. Your pic gets many of me and my house. If you're wonderful, I'll help get you back down South." (Katrina screwed up your life? - m4w - 42)

So Here's The Plan.

Isreal, you pull out some shit-hole symbolic settlements, enough to make a dramatic scene of quasi-compromise, but still leaving Palestine an unviable, land locked non-state.

Then, we'll freeze the usable assets of the closest thing to a legitimate government they have to speak for them, in a civil suit over two deaths ten years ago.

"A federal court in the US has frozen all the assets held by the Palestinian Authority (PA) in the country.

The ruling by the court in Rhode Island comes after the authority failed to compensate relatives of a Jewish couple shot dead by Hamas militants in 1996.

Both the PA and Hamas were ordered to compensate the family, under a American law allowing suits against groups responsible for killing US citizens.

The Palestinian envoy in Washington said the order paralyses his office.

The PA's assets in the US are reported to be worth at least 1.3bn." (BBC News.Com)

That way, nothing will improve, but it will at least appear that you're giving some difficult ground in compromise.

Then, you can go back to treating an entire nation of people like dogs.

And as you treat them as dogs, so that will be their only means to address you. As dogs long abused. And they will kill some of you, and you can finish killing off all of them, international conscience clear.

Right?

I mean, there's more to it. But most of it follows that pattern.

What an ugly fucking quilt we've made.

Palestinian assets in US frozen

Who is in charge of Michael Jackson?

'Okay MJ, step one to rebuilding your career and fanbase (US fans shun Michael Jackson CD), we've got to dissasociate you with child molestors, child molesting, children in general, really. We need a whole new start, an image your average American instantly trusts.'

Smiling Michael Jackson eases back into the public eye

"The first official pictures of pop star Michael Jackson since he was cleared of child abuse have been released, showing him in the Gulf city of Dubai." (BBC News.com; Michael Jackson surfaces in Dubai)


'I say we photograph you with some wealthy Arabs.'

All I'm saying is, his PR team could be hotter. Who's in charge of Michael Jackson?

'Yeah, I guess it's cool if Macaulay Culkin spends the night in your bedroom, as long as you guys are just hanging out.'

I mean, seriously.


'Just Hanging Out.'

How fucking hard did the wind blow?

It blew this fucking hard.

Hurricane Katrina. Oil Rig + Bridge; Mobile, Alabama.

When You Talk About Art, You Sound Stupid.

'Hoodie' statue provokes outrage

"A bronze statue of a teenager wearing a hooded top, to be erected in Montrose, Angus, has been criticised for glorifying hooligan culture."(BBC News.com)

"Hoodies", Con:

""All they can come up with for a civic art collection is a statue of a hoodie","

"I have teenage sons and I know for a fact that not all youngsters are hooligans and thugs. But this is like saying to them it's OK to be a ned because now you will be officially recognised in art by the council."

"Hoodies", Pro:

"This selection was made at a time when there was a lot of bad publicity about young people in hooded tops, I know a lot of children who wear these and I have to say that in my own experience there is not a malicious bone in their bodies."

"The title relates to both modern sportswear and to sculptures from antiquity."


How do YOU feel about hooded sportswear?

'Hoodie' statue provokes outrage

There is no commentary...

...on this. It just made me happy.

New leg for wounded Thai elephant.

"A Thai elephant who lost a foot after stepping on a landmine six years ago has had a temporary limb fitted."(BBC News.com)

The elephant! It gets a new leg! Hooray!

BBC News.com

Look out, Hugo; his umbrella doubles as a dart gun! And then it explodes!

"A senior representative of America's evangelical Christians [The Rev Ted Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals] is to make an attempt to set up a meeting with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez."

...

"Mr Haggard says he wants to meet Mr Chavez face to face and apologise for Mr Robertson's remarks."

US evangelical seeks Chavez talks

I call bullshit.

Run Hugo! He's got a gun! And it explodes!

Apology over kill Chavez TV call

NeW SaDdAm PiCs!!!!!

And thank God. I couldn't go another day.

"New photos of Saddam Hussein have been released by the Special Iraqi Tribunal investigating the former Iraqi leader.
The three photos show him being questioned by Chief Investigative Judge Raid Juhi at an unknown location."

...

"The latest pictures, which show Saddam Hussein with a full beard, were taken on Tuesday, the tribunal said." (BBC News.)

BBC News.




'Superstar.'

A New Hope.

Iraq leader hopeful on constitution

"Iraq's interim prime minister said Tuesday that lawmakers have made great strides in writing the country's new constitution and have been able to bridge gaps on many issues."(CNN.com)


'See? Hopeful. This is my hopeful face. I'm making it as hard as I can.'

Amazon's Got Its Eye On This Subculture Of Users

Three of four albums bought by users who bought this album, I already own and enjoy. The fourth I wont buy, because I assume there's a 25% margin of error. And I'm perturbed by even that acuracy.

But if you've heard Heatmiser, and it's awesome, let me know.

It's Like A Panic Attack, But It Happens Every Night

When I was a child, I would often lay awake in
bed for hours, worrying that the house would catch fire
while I slept. I was certain it could happen at any time.
I'd just stare at the ceiling in anxious terror, sniffing
for smoke. To calm myself I'd plan again and again how I
would leap from bed, wake my family, and get them and the
cats out of the house. But as the years passed, and my
house didn't burn down, and home invaders didn't kill us
all in our beds, and I didn't die of a sudden and brutal
attack of the mouse-feces-borne Hanta virus, I learned to
control my fears. I came to recognize the chemical
irrationality of my anxiety, and when I couldn't ignore it,
at least push it into the realm of fiction and get some
sleep. So therefore I was sleeping quite soundly when that
ampliphier caught fire in the living room and filled the
house with acrid yellow smoke. It was burning for at least
an hour before I became truly cogniscent of what was going
on and lept from bed, shouted Harry awake, and carried the
two cats to safety. The moral of this story: All your
childhood fears were spot on.

Well, Stalin, I've Got To Give You This.

If it wasn't for the oppresive nature of Soviet Stalinist Communism and it's crushing grip on Poland throughout the Cold War, my mother may not have been so determined to escape to the US in the mid-Seventies. Then where would I be? Nowhere. Not even a glimmer in anybody's eye. So, there is something to be said for the oppresive nature of Soviet Stalinist Communism. At least, in my opinion.

And Then I Said To Nobody, 'Who The Hell Am I Talking To?'

Sometimes I find myself talking to an invisible camera that doesn't exist, in front of a dog I can't be certain cares. And I'm earnestly trying to please them both.

In hindsight I'm less nervous when I'm playing to that crowd then when I pretend I'm completely alone. Or when I know I'm completely alone. So it serves a practical purpose. While I'm talking ridiculously kindly to a dog I know doesn't speak English, somewhere in my mind there must be an audience that does. Or there is, me. I am sometimes talking to myself. Through a dog or cat. If one is around.

Though, honestly, the dog clearly trusts me more the more I talk to her. We get along better. Sometimes she sits. Sometimes I can get her to go directions I'd like her to go. A couple of times tonight she not only chased the tennis ball, but picked it up briefly in her mouth. Those are the only two times I've seen this dog pick up something in its mouth. Which is crazy. Other dogs can't seem to stop picking things up. I said really encouraging things to her both times she actually got a hold of a tennis ball. She does have a tiny head. Maybe that's part of it.

But the dog does seem to like me more the more we talk. She paces less when I'm around. She'll even stop pacing and sit next to me awhile on the porch. And when I lie down in bed, she stops pacing and lies down too. Which, I should mention, is what she does with most of her free time. Pace.

She definitely doesn't get the stupid jokes I'm telling the camera. And that makes it easier on both of us.

The dog's great. It's very easy to talk to her. Being a dog, she expects very little. At least compositionaly. And I respect that. Or appreciate it. Both? I can risk talking nonsense, and not worry if it's annoying anyone.

The dog's great. And she seems happier to be here than she was when she first got here. She seems excited to see me when I get home. So I feel good about the whole thing.

Industry rule number 4080...

...New York Mercantile Exchange Traders are shady.

AP Photo, from CNN.Com:

Traders shout and signal today in the New York Mercantile Exchange oil futures pit.

The market price of Oil is set by lounge lizards?

They look like extras for a 70's bar scene. Possibly set in Vegas.

The Free Market is wearing gold chains. Gross.

I mean, seriously...

...National. Guard. Not even reservists. National Guard members dying in Iraq.

Which is not the Nation they signed up to Guard.

CNN: Pennsylvania mourns soldiers

Take Childhood Obesity seriously...

...unless you're making a billboard telling people to take it seriously.

Then, a little pun may be in order.



This 'doctor' looks a bit too earnest for wordplay.